– if your baby starts shoving the dog food in all the faster when she sees you coming.
– if your life has become a series of sippy cups half full of spoiled milk.
– if your oldest has this irritating habit of hurrying to walk ahead of you and then stopping right in the middle of your path.
– if your kids take great interest in watching their siblings get in trouble – and exhibit extreme empathy toward Momma and Daddy over the wayward sibling.
– if your daughter speaks in such high tones sometimes that you instinctively want to crouch down to the ground covering your ears.
– if pretty much every load of laundry you do these days seems like it ought to be washed on the “heavy duty” setting.
– if you’ve ever taken a half hour to set up the tent in the living room because you know it will buy you an hour of free time for yourself once it’s up:
– if your husband is very dramatic about dirty diapers, vomit, hot bath water, and thin pot holders.
– if you can never quite round up all the tiny pieces at one time, at least so that you could honestly say, “I put the Monopoly game/Playmobil toys/tiny Legos away today.”
– if you don’t necessarily like being The Finder in the family… but you’re the only one possessing enough attention span to look until you actually find the missing shoe, the favorite shirt, the doll pacifier, the bow and arrows, ad infinitum.
– if you can feel as much as hear the squeak of the outdoor faucet being turned on.
– if you are surprised by how very stinky your precious little daughters’ feet are. All four of ’em.
– if you never anticipated how regularly you would have to say, “You can’t want it just because your sister has it.”
– if swinging makes you sick to your stomach now that you’re a grown-up. Also, if it’s totally acceptable for little cowgirls to swing with their chinks on at your house.
– if you’ve decided to be less thorough and take more shortcuts in cooking. After all, as my friend Tanya Hardgrove used to tell me, “We’re here to feed these people, not fatten them.”
– if you never knew discomfort until your babies started using your “spare tire” as a foothold on the climb to your head.
– if the baby it totally onto your various methods for distracting her, especially the ol’ no-longer-in-use phone and remote tricks. How does she know the difference? Because she definitely does know the difference.
– if this moment is photo-worthy at your house:
– if “the dishes are done” at your house looks like “the dishes need doing” at your mom’s house.
– if you have no trouble these days saying, “Maybe next year,” because you know next year will be here in the blink of an eye.
– if playing pretend takes a lot of energy for you… probably more energy than you have to spare today.
– if you’ve ever popped chocolate chips into the baby’s mouth, one by one, while you were on the phone with the bank.
– if it sometimes seems like you’re cleaning up Mess A while they’re making Mess B.
– if you never thought you’d have to say, “Eat it from the outside in,” especially as often as you do — because your kids seem to love gnawing a hole through any sort of nutrition.
– if your husband and/or kids coming running to devour any treat — like a tall glass of iced tea — which you’ve made for yourself and were just about to sit down and enjoy.
– if Wednesday is Naked Horseback Riding Day at your house too.
© Tami Blake