– if you are totally stumped by bananas that never ripen. Yes, I’ve gotten used to the defunct bananas that come in our Bountiful Basket. But these… these bananas I got at Costco, the super-mecca of produce. They sat on my counter for two weeks and remained green as gourds. Didn’t even pretend to ripen. Sigh. Can’t we just go back to the good ol’ days when bananas behaved themselves?
– if you’ve ever muttered to your baby in the middle of the night: “You’re killin’ me, smalls.”
– if you have no one to blame but yourself for introducing the Playmobil / Lego / Barbie / American Girl / etc. phenomenon that has taken over your house.
– if you’ve discovered that most of the time it’s just easier to feed your kids off your own plate rather than fill one for them and then fight with them over eating it. Plate-sharing creates competition. Saves on dishes, too.
– if you’ve taken to gathering the brood around the drier to get dressed every morning in the clothes you laundered overnight. This saves on putting away clean laundry. And anyway, do kids really need to have 20 pairs of pants just because they all fit in one drawer?
– if you pour your kids’ cereal into coffee mugs… because there is no right way for a kid to drink milk out of a bowl.
– if your kids want to “paint” or count the money in their piggybanks at the most inopportune times. Then again, is there ever a great time for a 5-year-old and 3-year-old to paint?
– if you’ve ever started the day with the velcro on a used diaper stuck to your sock.
– if your 3-year-old likes what her brother got for Christmas better than she likes what she got for Christmas.
– if your kids never give up on asking if they can take real water into the play room… to float a toy boat, to mix up pretend soup, ad infinitum.
– if you’re very tempted to dress your girls in mommy-and-me matching dresses… but you think that might be socially over-the-top.
– if your kids take off their socks as soon as they get home. Like they won’t be able to stand wearing those socks for even one more minute.
– if your husband’s idea of cleaning is sitting in the recliner and sorting through all the timers on the DVR.
– if you’re becoming less interested in the process of how chores are finished in your house and more just happy if they’re mostly done… even if that means the dishes are rinsed with lukewarm water and the towels are washed with the jeans and the hamburgers are seasoned with parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.
– if your daughter likes to brush her hair after you’ve braided it.
– if your battle cry most every daybreak for the past 5 years has been: “Still alive!”
– if you have to load the dishwasher discreetly because the baby is entirely too much help.
– if the day your baby learns to get off the couch feet-first is bittersweet (because it means she’s growing up)… but mostly a relief.
– if you’re in love with the way the 5-year-old uses Ws in place of Rs in his speech.
– if you’re crazy for the smell of the 3-year-old’s hair.
– if you’d walk a thousand miles to see the baby’s 4-tooth grin.
© Tami Blake